OPEN HOUSE INVITATION FOR MY FAVOURITE PLACE FOR AUTISTIC KIDS IN MONTREAL.

I’ve been enjoying being blunt.

Téa’s diagnosis and the work involved in getting things in place sap me of energy and diplomacy. If you’ve got children with exceptionalities, you know what I’m talking about.

Here is your blunt for today; it comes with a tacit acceptance on your part that in reading this far, yep, this far, you must share this info because there is someone you know who’s recently received a diagnosis of Autism for their child (and they may not have told you yet) and you can do them the biggest good by passing this along to your people.

If your kid is on the spectrum, go to the The Abili-T OPEN HOUSE. JUNE 25, 3-5 pm 5331 rue Ferrier, Montréal, M4P 1M1

By far, it is one of the (if not the) best centres for ABA instruction in Montreal.

If we’ve never met, you need to know that our 3 yr old is on the spectrum and has fairly significant developmental, gross/fine motor delays, and sensory integration issues.  Her challenges are many, and are rivaled only by her adorable-ness and ability to cast a love spell on everyone around her.

If you know me, and never really understand what I am talking about because I keep gushing about Ali, Richard, Dr. Garcin, Evie and Nathalie, satisfy your curiosity and visit – I know you know someone one the spectrum and a parent lost and wondering what to do with a fresh diagnosis, your visit could lead to you sharing about this fabulous place. They have only FIVE (5) spaces open for this September. If your daughter or son is on the spectrum, go to the The Abili-T OPEN HOUSE.

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This is not a paid endorsement. This is not a quid-pro-quo arrangement (damn-it).

Each day, I drive Téa from the West Island to ABILI-T because they are, in my very well informed opinion, the gold standard in therapy and support. Employing best practices across the entirety of their services – from whom they hire to how they train them – and a fabulous facility, this is the one place I will miss about Montreal. My pool too, but I’d give up the pool in exchange for more Abili-T.

This is me, doing a little something for you today by sharing the info about an open house to the most fabulous place on earth if your kid is on the spectrum.

>> On-site Psychologist, Speech Pathologist, Physiomotricienne.

>> The Best ABA therapists I have observed, ever.

>> Compete transparency, exceptional support for parents and a true “team” approach that ensures we parents are as much of the plan as we want to be (in my case, very much involved), or can be (in case you just can’t even manage to get your red boots on).

Big Plus, for September, they have succeeded in creating a Family Assistance Program that helps parents not go bankrupt while giving their child(ren) a chance to close the gaps.

If your child is on the spectrum, and are 6 yrs old or younger, go to the The Abili-T OPEN HOUSE. JUNE 25, 3-5 pm 5331 rue Ferrier, Montréal, M4P 1M1.

I’m speaking to you from my heart – when Téa started there it was the first time I felt that I wasn’t alone. It was the first time I felt I didn’t have to push to get the best, to be understood. I finally felt that I had connected to a team of truly loving and interested and invested people who saw the ability in my daughter and had the skill and experience to bring it out in the ways that are unique to her.

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That’s one of the fabulous Senior Therapists. Tamara.

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That’s Gaiid, she has been especially helpful for Téa because Téa has many, many, motor, mobility, and sensory issues. Trained in France, she is a cross between a Physiotherapist, OT, and modified Feldenkreist practitioner. That’s my definition.

Their’s where the two photo’s on the site, which is why I am using them – I plan to photograph each and every person there – they are part of our family and no matter where we are, they will always be part of Team Téa. Even when we are in Toronto.

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Million Dollar Babies. Nope, costs more than that.

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In researching an article for ilovekiddeals.ca I came across a 2013 Fraser Institute study  that pegged the cost of raising a child at $3,000 to $4,000 a year (seriosuly?). Assuming as parents we raise kids only until the age of 18 (again, seriously?) means each child costs parents $72,000. This figure excludes housing and excludes child care costs, which tells me that the Fraser Institute doesn’t have a clue.  You can’t raise kids without housing and child care.

In 2011, however, an analysis by MoneySense in 2011 estimated it would cost considerably more: $243,660. Which in my limited professional experience but very thorough chattering with friends and looking at my own sad state of affairs lately seems more in line with actual expenses.

This post was inspired by this article which I encourage you to read. It’ll blow your mind.

In our case, as parents of a just turned three-year-old little girl on the Autism Spectrum,  the costs look more like this – and I’m only sharing with you (much to my husband’s chagrin) the costs PER MONTH FOR ONE CHILD.

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$2,600 = 20 HRS ABA

$350 = Afternoon pre-school/developmental program

$1,000-1,200 = ABM specialized therapy available only in Toronto (6 x per year)

This excludes feeding Tutu, clothing Tutu, housing Tutu, basic needs care, gas to get to all the doctor appointments, therapies, classes, specialists….you know, the basic things we do as parents in the developed world to actually take care of our kids.

Do you know how many families have MULTIPLE children on the spectrum? Imagine. Now consider making a donation to a foundation that supports a child directly rather than a foundation/organization/center.  It’s the parents that need the fundraising, honestly.

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Happily, we have THREE children; two of the these three lovely sassy ladies do gymnastics, one take piano and both enjoy soccer in the summer. Relative to most families we know who ski, vacation, eat out, and take part in multiple extra-curricular activities, we’re pretty light on the extra spending front.

And still, we’re at a whopping $3000 per month PLUS $1000 every six to eight weeks for a therapy you can only get in Toronto – for therapies that give our special needs child merely the education she needs to advance through her life; understand me, the ABA is necessary for her development. Her attendance at the afternoon program for kids with developmental delays is necessary.

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And there are thousands and thousands and thousands of families LIKE OURS in Canada.

So, why is the government in Canada and one of the countries leading analysis institutes missing every clue about what it actually takes to raise a child (1 in 67 now who are on the spectrum) and not responding accordingly?

I care about foreign aid, I’m big on helping the most needy. What I’m keenly aware of though, is that most needy includes Canadian Families with children with special needs.

What’s it going to take? A law-suit like in Vancouver or Calgary? If so, whose in?

Here’s a link again to that article, Million Dollar Babies, if anything, costs facing Canadian families is more damning now than it was in 2011.

 

Can someone tell me: is my daughter Autistic or does she have Autism?

If you think that as a person who isn’t touched by Autism, you aren’t sure how to describe it or whether you are being impolite or incorrect, rest assured, my kid has Autism and I’m as lost as you.

We noticed our two-and-a-half year old, Téa wasn’t reaching her 12 month milestones. By 16 months, with the trained eyes of parents to two other little ladies, we knew we needed to start asking deeper questions. Our journey took us to the mouth of a wolf called Creatine Transporter Disorder (CTD) that nearly devoured me whole and had me begging that the disorder was “just Autism”.

Eight months later and with CTD ruled out, and a tag of Autism formally affixed,  I’ve come to think a lot definitions and meanings.

It’s likely you’ll meet some parents who are convinced it’s a condition to be cured, others who are adamant that its a way of being and there is nothing wrong with their child.  As a new comer to this brave new world, I’m still unclear: is my daughter Autistic or does she have Autism?

It’s a subtle difference, yet, subtle can be very powerful.

First, if she is Autistic, this is as much a characteristic of who she is as the conditions she faces. It means, to me, that no matter what advances she makes and how “un-Autistic” she may seem one day, she will still be Autistic.

On the other hand, if she has Autism, somehow, the implication is that perhaps one day she won’t have it; that if she continues to kick-ass in lessons with her therapists (she goes to Abili-T now), and we continue to lavish glee-full eruptions of praise, slow things down for her to be able to gain mastery of small tasks and gestures, talk to her slowly and repetitively (all the while assuming she understands), the day may come when Téa steps off the Autism Spectrum and into the neuro-typical pool most of us find ourselves in.

Of the many grueling aspects of getting an ASD diagnosis for Téa, one I continue to struggle with is how to talk about Autism. How to define it to my other young children and to family and friends who are comfortable in asking, and how to describe how Autism manifests in our daughter – which I’ll tell you is ever changing.

Having described it at our house as a word that describes how a person’s brain organizes and uses information was simplest way I thought of to explain it to our 6 year old  and 4 year old.  And yet it falls short, because understanding the word doesn’t make it any clearer to them; they still worry about what it means about their littlest sister, and mommy can’t quite figure out what to say without saying things that totally un-pc.

I am keenly aware that how we define or describe  something says very much about what it means to us and can shape perceptions and feelings for others.

So, as a parent with a young child on the spectrum, see myself as having a special responsibility for how I talk about Autism  –  even as I tease out what to say about it, and despite being certain that what I say will change as I journey along this brave new world my daughter was born into and brought us all along with her. It will change as I become more comfortable with the diagnosis. It will change the more I talk about it and idea’s get clearer, and it’ll change as my daughter grows and the day comes that I need to explain this to her.

In a house where we don’t strive for normalcy (I was the proud bearer of a purple/yellow “Why Be Normal”) and discussions of different/same don’t often arise because by-and-large for our kids there is no “one” normal, is our two-and-a-half year on who experiences life on the spectrum different?

According to our family philosophy, she isn’t. And yet, she is.

The signs of difference are everywhere and in everything: what Téa can do, to how she reacts in different settings, to different things, and with different people.  Which is why the “See Things My Way” campaign created by the Miriam Foundation has the potential to be so very profound; it if they take it all the way – as I would if it were a campaign I was running – it can help create healthy, smart, relatable definitions that foster understanding across the spectrum which to me, encompasses all of us; because we are all somewhere along the spectrum of Typical.

As I think about how I see things and how I talk about things, my mind jumps to how we are defining Autism in our cultures and societies. How are we permitting government services, and the revenue agency to define it?  How are we accepting that medical bodies define it and classify it?

And what role do we need to play in those definitions as the parents, caregivers, and family members who understand it most?

I learned recently that Aspergers is a culture, not a neurological/communications disorder.  I couldn’t wrap my head around it,  but I can say, ok,  if as an Aspergian you tell me it’s a culture, then please, tell me more and  eventually I’ll understand.

So as my family and I embark on this journey of exploring what it means to live with Autism, raise a child with Autism, and exist in a typical society with ever evolving definitions of oh so many things, I’ll keep telling you all more, and eventually, I’ll understand and hopefully you can too.

A Mini Sib-Kit For Helping Kids Understand Autisic Siblings.

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Téa’s eldest sister is a fireball. The kind of kid for whom you always need to be at your best and brightest because her questions, insights and observations rival those of thoughtful, intelligent people many times older than she is. She’s seven. So imagine.

When we opened up the conversation about Autism at our house I tried to edit all the worries, thoughts and perceptions I have and give the girls a clean, non-judgemental, totally PC, and simple description of the word and what it might mean for Téa.

I came up with: “Autism is a word that describes how a person’s brain works. Téa learns differently than you and your sister and so mom and dad are discovering how she learns so that we can help her learn just like we help you learn.”  Six months later,  during an interview with high school students doing a philanthropy project, Naya shared with them that she worries about her little sister because she is the only person she knows with Autism. And I suddenly saw alllllll the holes that my answer left behind.

I’ve been seeking accurate and age-appropriate ways to explain things better as the girls’ questions and concerns arise.  So to that aim, I asked the director and senior therapist at Téa’s school whether Naya could participate one morning, seeing first hand what Téa does in her “school” and meeting other kids on the spectrum. The answer was a resounding, positive, happy-to-have-it-happen: YES!!

This morning, as I drove Nay and tutu to the ABA centre she attends every morning I started to prime her.  I had visions of pointing and staring and inappropriate questions. And I was hoping to edit Naya, so to speak, so she would be her most composed, polite self.

“Naya, there are a couple of things I need you to keep in mind for this morning….”.

Naya: “Yes?”

Me: “…uh……hm……” This was me realizing that what I was about to say was less about her possibly “inappropriate” behaviour and more about my concerns over how the morning would play out.

“….just no pointing please.”

Nodding, Naya says, “o…kay…I can do that.”

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Right. End of that conversation. Why? Because if there was ever a time when a kid ought to be free to explore her doubts, questions and concerns it needs to be at a centre where they specialize in helping parents understand and helping kids close the gaps. Because they can do what I don’t yet know how to do as well as I’d like and that was the whole reason for her to attend anyway, right?

Because my own thoughts are jumbled;  I’m trying to give my daughter positive messages about difference, discrimination and empathy – keenly aware that what I say shapes what she understands and I am not sure how to tease this all out for myself. So I did what I have only recently learned to do: scale it back. Keep it simple and let things play out. That’s my moto…for today. It changes nearly daily.

So much about what our family is going through is far outside my control and experience.  There are moments when I feel a soul crushing weight, and I am too defeated to even attempt to wiggle out from under it.  What the heck do I know about coaching kids though this? Apart from a fairly keen sense of intuition (thank God!), I am witness to my every shortcoming in this area and so I’m looking around and asking around and spackling  together information and ideas into possible sound bites of reassurance that I can dole out like granddads’ do candy.

So, in keeping with keeping it simple and building my stash of sound bites, let me share a few links and tips I’ve found useful so far in helping our daughters (seven and five) navigate having a sibling with Autism:

1. TOOL KIT: Autism Speaks (both in Canada and the US) have a series of tool kits. This one is for siblings and is a workbook intended to be interactive for us and our kids. http://www.autismspeaks.ca/family-services/toolkits. You will find others on the site for teachers, family, etc.  A satisfactory beginning to uncover questions and worries and give first answers.

2. PERSPECTIVE: This video from a young teenage girl named Rosie is fabulous “mini film” and is her worlds. http://youtu.be/ejpWWP1HNGQ.  Excellent for giving us and our kids an idea of what it is like for some kids on the spectrum.

3. INFORMATION For moms and dads, friends and family, this post by Michelle Dawson is one of the best I’ve read so far. Not clinical and also not “dumbed down”. It’s a good foundation for understanding the sameness as much as the difference between the typical and atypical brain. http://autismcrisis.blogspot.ca/2006/10/whats-autism-anyway.html

Without a doubt, there are many more resources out there.  I invite everyone who is reading this to include useful/relevant links to resources, videos, posts that have helped you or that you have come across.  If you are a professional and would like to let parents know about your service, please send me an email and we’ll take it from there to get the word out in a non-solitious way. :)

I’ll let you all know how it went today….

A.

The Invitation

This morning I’d like to invite you to visit The Invitation with me.

It’s a departure from what I typically write about and the words are not my own; but to me, it feels as though they were spoken straight from my heart.

This poem was shared with me by Ketan Lakhani, a dear departed friend who was a facilitator/mediator in the Apartheid era.   To me, this poem is an anthem for my life and what I yearn to know about the people whom I meet.

Over the years and with new readings of this poem I notice that there are different sections that move me depending on what is happening in my life. Right now, one that stirs me is this one.

It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

Here it is, The Invitation.

The Invitation by Oriah

It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon…
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.

It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.

To read more from Oriah: http://www.oriahmountaindreamer.com/ and there is also facebook.com/oriah.mountain.dreamer.

The Warrior Project

Autism can seem like a far-away idea. Something that happens to other people’s children. But, with 1 in 88 children in Canada diagnosed with Autism, suddenly “other” becomes “cousin”, “daughter”, “neighbour”, “friend”. 

You know I’ve been motivated to launch a series of campaigns and programs to address the issues with the current medical and governmental lacks in the world of Autism (ASD) and Neurological Disorders.

When I heard about the Aviva Community Foundation’s contest, I had to submit a project. Winning means I can launch initiatives with speed and efficiency! Here’s the entry. Please, have a look and VOTE. Link below.

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Approximately 30,000 pre-school aged children in Canada have an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).  That’s more than the prevalence rates of pediatric diabetes, AIDS, cancer, cerebral palsy, cystic fibrosis, muscular dystrophy and Down syndrome COMBINED.

The inspiration for The Warrior Project comes from a problem with two parts:

The First: The wait lists for diagnosing Autism currently run between 12-24 months, a terribly debilitating period of time given early diagnosis and intervention is key with Neurological Disorders. When discovered early (as young as 18 months of age, though most commonly between age 2-3),  the opportunities for children with ASD to improve are exponentially higher, seeing children move towards the higher functioning end of the spectrum. Private assessments cost between $2,200-$3,000 making them prohibitive for many families across Canada. But what this means is that for parents who aren’t able to cover the cost of a private assessment, their child’s best chance to advance (between age 2 and 5) is shrunk by the wait lists.

This introduces Part 2 of the problem: In Quebec and Ontario, a diagnosis means children are now eligible to wait for services, not actually receive them. Wait times are between ONE to TWO years, and – horrifically – sometimes longer.

What does this mean? That a child who is 2 1/2 yrs old when their parent suspects there may be something wrong, will be older than the window for Early Intervention, and in Quebec, too old to receive public services which only support families until the child is 6 years old.  They will have missed the window in which the brain is most plastic and able to develop, and they will have missed the short period of time allotted to receiving government funded services.

Okay, so why not pay for the assessment and the services privately?

Great question. Happen to have $40,000-$120,000 in pocket change? Perhaps in the couch cushions? This is the cost EACH YEAR parents pay for the programs to give children a chance to uncover their potential, gain connection, and cultivate life skills that will allow them to lead a full-filling life.

Our Solution:  The Warrior Project. A three-part action plan to raise awareness, slash wait times and fund families.

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Cast your vote, here: http://www.avivacommunityfund.org/ideas/acf19113

Winning funds will launch:

A) Nation-wide Advocacy and Awareness campaigns run in public schools and private institutions and will develop into conferences. Called “Sparx”, these events address bullying, fund-raise and give a voice to children with differences in integrated classrooms.  Each year, the program theme changes and gives students an opportunity to use creative/artistic skills to showcase how their voice is as unique as that of a child with Neurological disorders.

The events facilitate life-changing awareness that can break cycles of depression, anxiety and marginality, and positively impact esteem. For siblings of children with disorders, the events foster a sense of community acceptance. For the child with Autism, their voice gets a positive platform, and for those who think they are untouched by Autism it is an opportunity to see that their classmates aren’t odd, or scary, or distant.
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Supported by high school student volunteers, the events showcase how connected we are to each other, and how important it is that communities act to advance the well-being of all our members. The project encourages the development of socially minded personal initiative, and leverages positive peer role-modeling.

B) Assessment-a-Thon events across Eastern Canada bring professionals to children in an unprecedented move towards early diagnosis and intervention, this part of the project targets the outrageous wait times for a diagnosis.  Partnering with leading doctors, therapists, and professionals and using professionally designed, best-in-class protocols, we will deploy a series of assessment caravans and venues to reduce the number of children on public wait-lists to eliminate socio-economic disparity for hundreds, if not thousands of children and youth.

[Like what you’re reading? Please contribute your vote, http://www.avivacommunityfund.org/ideas/acf19113%5D

Community Impact: Existing foundations and charities in this area fund important research. They do that well. We do this well, we work from our strengths and we want to give children with Neurological Disorders a chance to do the same.  Early Intervention increases the chance for kids to become contributing, fulfilled members of our communities. Fundraising provides much needed support to parents and raises the character and caliber of communities across our great country.
 
Sustainability: Each event, each campaign is run as an independent project, allowing us to fulfill our goals of advocacy, detection, and funding without long-running projects. Our approach gives us flexibility and relevancy each and every time we act.  With your help, your funds, we can widen the window for hundreds of children; broaden the minds of thousands, and help them find the warriors within.

The Warrior Project was created by the Red Boot Warrior. A young mom of three daughters, the youngest of whom is 2.5 and on the spectrum, who found a warrior within and a muse to channel her expertise.

Thank you for considering our idea; your support allows us to launch this initiative with speed and efficiency. Please vote for The Warrior Project today.

HOW TO VOTE: http://www.avivacommunityfund.org/ideas/acf19113

LIKE FACEBOOK.COM/REDBOOTWARRIOR

It’s a tween thing

So.

In a personally profound declaration of love and adoration for my eldest daughter, Noosh, I reached my hand back to touch her fingertips and glance at her at a red light while driving home from gynmastics.

Enter stage front seat:

mother I like you, Noosh. I like you and love you and think you’re absolutely wonderful.

daughter I hope I find my pants.

:l

Good lord, not even a smile or glance my way!

At dinner tonight when I recounted the story, she giggled nervously.  She’d been so absorbed in her own thoughts she hadn’t even registered what I’d said!

Just how young does the “tween” range begin??

A.

Shit. Oops, Sorry! Merde.

Not long ago I received a hefty envelope from our local provincial medical centre, the place where our daughter Téa’s case will be managed.
In it was an intake questionnaire in French with a post-it note apology from the social worker, saying she had run out of the English version.  I don’t read/understand French with the same fluency as English and I live in a largely English-speaking area on the west island of Montreal.

The questionnaire is intended to capture information about Téa’s birth and developmental history and serves as the starting point for service acquisition in the public sector.

As you can imagine, it’s pretty vital that I understand what I am being asked.  Though my husband was educated in English and French, I am the one who is the primary caregiver to our daughter and the only one who can answer any and all questions related to Téa’s birth, infancy, history,  progress and interventions we have already put in place for her.

This means that even with him by my side translating the questions and then translating my answers, MOST of the nuance and context going both ways, that is: what I am understanding from my husband about the question and what he is understanding from me and then translating – are LOST.

Most of us – even though we speak French – when dealing with matters as important and delicate as these prefer and often need our native language; and while that may introduce the argument of whether a version of each form needs to be made available in everyone’s native tongue, no (but would’ it be great if it could be??), we’re in Canada and an English form should be available in largely English speaking areas – even in Quebec.  If banks translate their automated tellers into mandarin in areas where their client demographic is Asian, then surely agencies created to service we the citizens can stock enough bi-lingual forms that I don’t get a French one with an “Ooops, sorry!”.

This got me thinking about a recent post in Huff Post from a fellow-Quebec mom with an Autistic child who asked whether she ought to leave the province given that her son didn’t – and likely wouldn’t ever – speak French. Linda poses what I see as a very complex challenge: should her son leave Quebec.

We suffer the worst access and wait-lists in the country. Her son is now 14…my daughter is 2 and a half. And I’m thinking of leaving. We have family in Ontario, just as we have family here. We’re lucky that we have the love and support of everyone everywhere. But for families without relatives in other cities (ideally BC or Calgary if your child has Autism), do you stay or do you go?

What would you do?

Calgary gives parents $40k/yr with a valid diagnosis (then it drops after age 6, I don’t recall how much). In BC you get $22k/yr towards services from approved practitioners. You’d think we’d all have moved by now. But we don’t, for the same reasons that Lisa points out: we work hard to create a life, and work, and connections where we are. And there is much to love about Montreal, about Quebec.

And yet.

I am an Argentinian Jew who grew up in Toronto and chose to move to Montreal to follow the love of my life. How many strikes until you’re out in the game of the proposed new charter? Already I feel like a second-class citizen whenever I speak English in public. Now, as a family with a child with special needs, I am further marginalized and so is she.

At our house, there are three languages with English being the dominant one you’ll hear with an ever-increasing smattering of French now that two of our girls are in Elementary school, and flourish in Spanish.  If we go to Toronto, our girls will be enrolled in French immersion programs.

And yet…

This shouldn’t be a question of whether to stay or go. There shouldn’t be an absence of English forms. There shouldn’t be a disparity between English and French services…both of which fall grossly below the minimum necessary for our children.  There shouldn’t be a chasm so large that whole families fall into abuse, poverty, and depression between what is publicly provided for and privately available.

And yet, here we are.  Merde.

A. Warrior.