The only thing I can ever balance successfully happens to be the laptop, baby, and steaming hot cup of coffee; likely only because my MacBook Pro was expensive and everything is on it, because she is darling and I adore her, and finally because I won’t make it through the rest of the morning without that luscious latte with frothed soy that I dreampt about when I am about to wake up.
The subject of balance has intrigued me since I became a mom in 2006. Now, as the mom of THREE exceptionally lovely little ladies (all of whom I had in 4 1/2 yrs), I’d like to put to rest the notion of balance from the minds of any of you brave enough to keep reading and engaging with me.
There is no meritocracy in the achieving of (the semblance) balance. After all, consider the following:
Balance: even amounts of, equal measure so to maintain the same.
To me, this means FAILURE TO THRIVE. It means that I have achieved no forward movement, no advancement of my personal goals or professional ones.
Three daughters, a failed business, and a new start-up later, I sit here on my side of the screen you’re looking at aptly qualified to tell you that your purpose here is to achieve a wholly productive, joy-inspiring lack of balance.
Apart from the fact that the mere word conjures up a kind of soggy sigh-inducing feeling, I put it to you that balance is a time-sapping, energy stagnating, false idol that we women should drop-kick off the planet.
Can we revisit our childhoods for a bit? Think back to the playground: is it most fun to sit in the middle of the teeter-totter or on one end of it with a friend on the other? Preferably a heavier friend because we can bump around more, right? Uh huh, see? How about a swing? Where you the kid that wanted to simply sit in it or touch the clouds with your feet?
Balance is sitting still in a swing. Perching on the middle of the teeter-totter.
Balance makes for mediocre parenting and failed businesses for the simple reason that neither is being done with our whole heart and mind. It is, I think, unimaginative, uninspired living.
Complete and utter imbalance on the other hand allows for each thing to have a turn at getting the best of you – and whether that imbalance lasts for an afternoon or a day or a week, well, I leave that to you to decide as you go along, just as I do.
There are weeks that I’m all about the girls and others all about the work. Others still – the saucy ones – are all about my husband or relationships because 10 years and a lot of living later, he still rocks my world. Sometimes in that come hither way, and many in that totally annoying challenge everything I want/think/say way.
Heads up: If you are the balance-type, I hope you stay – though admittedly you may feel anger and/or freedom and maybe even be inspired.