A Birth Announcement.

ilovekiddeals sign upAfter an unusually long pregnancy that took place in my head, of all places, and that experienced a few complications, we have finally welcomed our newest baby, ilovekiddeals.com, to the world!

She is a lovely, bright, smart robust young thing that I know you’ll love as much as I do, and I hope you go see her soon. Her sister, who’s Canadian will be born in a few months.

A few years ago I was launching a startup, Kidscentive. It took much – much – longer than expected, cost a lot more money, and eventually failed to truly launch in it’s original conceptualization. I’m a wordy and a partnery, and a marketery but I am no techy and that hurt how my idea got off the ground. I made the mistake of not reading the blog of other entrepreneurs who’d failed quickly and learned a lot and launched again to great success. Those blogs I read after. Had I read them before I would have known a) not to aspire to perfection before going live and b) putting this into the universe is good, but keeping them close to the vest until the roots of your idea have taken hold is better.

But another thing also occurred: the market changed with the advent of group buying sites and changed the way businesses marketed themselves and the way people made purchases.

The e-commerce landscape experienced what I think can reasonably be likened to a tectonic shift since we got started starting-up and we needed to pay attention to what was happening rather than continuing to dig deeper into what we were already doing.  Internally, things got really busy – there was a lot of chatter and discussion, and research.  To the outside world however, it appeared that all had grown quiet and we silently went away.  We didn’t have a proper strategy for publicly pausing and re-directing, mostly because even we didn’t realize that’s what we were doing.

But there was also something else that was going on. I was mortified. Here I had gone and talked about what I was working on because I believe in putting things out into the universe and sharing my life with others, only to not walk my talk. Yes, we made provisions for the businesses in our program, giving refunds to those businesses who wanted to leave and upgrading everyone who chose to stand with us.  That business didn’t exactly make it to market. Instead, we paused, and listened, and learned. Then we pivoted – but I wasn’t about to tell anyone that! I’d made the mistake of talking too early.

I felt embarrassed and ill-equipped to manage questions and expectations. I also struggled with my partner (and husband) as we didn’t always see eye to eye. And, because I’m all about going all out – I got pregnant with Tea.

Now, Téa – our third of three wondrous daughters is two years old and ilovekiddeals.com has come into the world to join our family.

For me, this business is like a part of the family because we live and breath it. It occupies a piece of my brain just as thoughts of the girls do all day until they are asleep in their beds. Work-talk will trickle into family time. How the day went with ilovekiddeals.com will affect how patient, attentive, and connected I am at home just as when I worry or am consumed by anything to do with the family (pets included) will affect how well I can focus or think at/about work.  I think this is part of the reality of life – the completely and utterly unbalanced part that we exist in most of the time.

Today, I introduce you to our newest baby because like all real deliveries, it does us women good to share our birth stories. It is part of transitioning and engaging with this new version of ourselves. Before April 8th, I was the founder of a social group and a successful freelancer. Now, I am that and a little bit more.

A.

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Campaign for the death of “mompreneur”

Bet you’ve never met a Dadpreneur.  Nor a Papapreneur.

Seems this classification of people doesn’t transcend gender-typing.

Entrepreneurial men who have children are entrepreneurs.

Entrepreneurial women who have children are mompreneurs.

Wait, what? Once more…Entrepreneurial men who have children are entrepreneurs.  Entrepreneurial women who have children are mompreneurs.

Is there a reason for this? Yes. I’ll tell you what it is during my preceding rant.

Do women refer to themselves as the “m” word because they can’t decide whether they are a mom or an entrepreneurial person?  Is this their way of saying “don’t expect too much from me, heehee, I’m just a mommy playing at having a business”?

The word offends me; riles me up and fires me up because what you are saying to all of is that you can’t own that you aspire to more than motherhood; like it’s a shameful act to want to be a mother and a career woman too.

Someone who thought they were clever coined the term mompreneur has done a huge disservice to women.  Auto-correct on WordPress doesn’t even recognize the term, why should we?

Let’s be clear and start with likely the most important point to be made here: You don’t chose to be a full-time mom versus a working mom – we are ALL full-time moms. Some of us work at a job because we want to or need to or both. Some of us work as volunteers at schools, organizations, or sports teams because we want to and have the time to.

Some of us are even crazy enough to do both: be a full-time mom who has a business who volunteers at her kids’ school or run hugely successful social moms groups (thank you very much).

So let’s cut the crap: if you’re a woman who is a mom who also has a business, you are an Entrepreneur.

You are dismissing yourself and setting a hugely detrimental precedent by continuing to refer to yourself as the word I even hate to type.

Women who refer to themselves as momprenerus are not being enough of either, not the least of reasons why being that they don’t have the balls to stop being cutesy and actually get shit done.  To the rest of us, it signals that you are apologetic, uncommitted, and insecure. It means you are either not satisfied with your role as a mom and have an idea and a desire to add to it, or that you have an idea for a business or a product but you yourself don’t buy into its success.

So which is it?  All of us have felt like the Not-Good-Enough mother. All of us have felt that if only we could have more hours to work, or a clearer head to work we could really show the world what we’re made of, or advance a project that is dear to us or that could potentially change lives – if only our own.

Do Lawyers become Mowyers? Teachers Momeachers? Analysts Momalysts? What would it say to you about their skill, ability, commitment? Would you hire a Mowyer to represent you in court or oversee an important contract transacted or you would hire a Lawyer?

More on this.  The thoughts are ricocheting around in my brain much faster than I can type or make order of them…..

….we’re coming back to this one ladies.