Campaign for the death of “mompreneur”

Bet you’ve never met a Dadpreneur.  Nor a Papapreneur.

Seems this classification of people doesn’t transcend gender-typing.

Entrepreneurial men who have children are entrepreneurs.

Entrepreneurial women who have children are mompreneurs.

Wait, what? Once more…Entrepreneurial men who have children are entrepreneurs.  Entrepreneurial women who have children are mompreneurs.

Is there a reason for this? Yes. I’ll tell you what it is during my preceding rant.

Do women refer to themselves as the “m” word because they can’t decide whether they are a mom or an entrepreneurial person?  Is this their way of saying “don’t expect too much from me, heehee, I’m just a mommy playing at having a business”?

The word offends me; riles me up and fires me up because what you are saying to all of is that you can’t own that you aspire to more than motherhood; like it’s a shameful act to want to be a mother and a career woman too.

Someone who thought they were clever coined the term mompreneur has done a huge disservice to women.  Auto-correct on WordPress doesn’t even recognize the term, why should we?

Let’s be clear and start with likely the most important point to be made here: You don’t chose to be a full-time mom versus a working mom – we are ALL full-time moms. Some of us work at a job because we want to or need to or both. Some of us work as volunteers at schools, organizations, or sports teams because we want to and have the time to.

Some of us are even crazy enough to do both: be a full-time mom who has a business who volunteers at her kids’ school or run hugely successful social moms groups (thank you very much).

So let’s cut the crap: if you’re a woman who is a mom who also has a business, you are an Entrepreneur.

You are dismissing yourself and setting a hugely detrimental precedent by continuing to refer to yourself as the word I even hate to type.

Women who refer to themselves as momprenerus are not being enough of either, not the least of reasons why being that they don’t have the balls to stop being cutesy and actually get shit done.  To the rest of us, it signals that you are apologetic, uncommitted, and insecure. It means you are either not satisfied with your role as a mom and have an idea and a desire to add to it, or that you have an idea for a business or a product but you yourself don’t buy into its success.

So which is it?  All of us have felt like the Not-Good-Enough mother. All of us have felt that if only we could have more hours to work, or a clearer head to work we could really show the world what we’re made of, or advance a project that is dear to us or that could potentially change lives – if only our own.

Do Lawyers become Mowyers? Teachers Momeachers? Analysts Momalysts? What would it say to you about their skill, ability, commitment? Would you hire a Mowyer to represent you in court or oversee an important contract transacted or you would hire a Lawyer?

More on this.  The thoughts are ricocheting around in my brain much faster than I can type or make order of them…..

….we’re coming back to this one ladies.

What to really expect when you’re expecting

Go for it. Buy the cutesy pastel coloured pregnancy books. But read this short little ditty too.  It’s high time you knew what to really expect when you’re expecting- especially past month 5 – as you embark on this journey.

It all starts sweetly enough….

Month One

1. You likely won’t know you’re “in the family way” unless you’ve been peeing on a test since the day you had sex. So you’ll just feel sluggish and lazy and people will say, “damn, you’re lazy this week!”

2. You’ll find that your nose involuntarily scrunches at certain foods and you’ll have no idea why.

Month Two

1. You’ll fall asleep all over yourself.  Anywhere, all the time, no matter what.

2. You’ll likely experience nausea a week or two into this month.

3. You’ll continue to scrunch your nose, but now you’ll know why and you’ll be uber elated or cussing.

Month Three

1. You’re not fitting into your pants but you’re not really showing so you’ll just look fat. That’s right, don’t bother sticking your stomach out to “seem” more pregnant than you really are. That will come soon enough…at which point you’ll be sucking your stomach in so that people can say “wow, really? You don’t look 5 months pregnant!”.

2. You’ll buy your first pair of maternity pants. If you’re knew to this, you’ll also buy just about everything the store happens to sell. You’ll gleefully fill in your name, email, social security number and blood type when asked for it because you could win a $50 gift card if you spend $100 or more the next time you shop at the same store.  And do you know why you will do this and check off “YES!” to receiving special promotions from partners? Because if you fill in that little card, you get to also write in that you’re having a baby on a specific date. You’ll get to write that it’s your first…you’ll practically pee yourself from the sheer excitement.

If you’re a pro, you’ll buy the one pair that will take you from work to dinner and two top’s max and when that overly friendly sap at the store offers you the deal for next time just by filling in the form, you will stare her down with that “do I look new to this?” look you’ll have naturally cultivated after receiving call after call and parcel after parcel of unwanted crap at home because you didn’t know better than to fill in the form that first time.

3. You’ll browse baby things here and there now that your head isn’t framed by the toilet and if you’re a first timer, you will buy a bevy of books on the subject of being pregnant, eating right when pregnant, exercising when pregnant, having sex while pregnant (in month 7 you’ll be seeking out that book on how to tell your husband he’d have more luck convincing a nun to have sex), naming your baby, baby proofing, and what gear you must, must, must, must have.

Month Four

1. You’ll sign up for every permutation of prenatal class there is and then only attend about 40%-60% of the sessions. Unless they were reaaally expensive. The lesson here is of course, spend a lot of money to ensure you go, or alternately, go for the cheapy classes so you don’t feel as bad for blowing them off to eat your way through the evening.

2. You’ll feel pretty darn great and excited and you’ll look good too unless you’ve been indulging in all the chocolate and fries you’ve been craving.

Month Five

This month is the same as month four. Read that one again.

Month Six

1. You’ll be aware that you should have been doing kegels at this point. You’ll also notice that your thighs and ass are rather rounded.

2. You’ll begin to think about the nursery and what you’ll need to bring baby home in. You’ll shop around for strollers, debating with yourself over the delux version – because your baby deserves the prettiest/coolest/most novel stroller, car seat, high chair, crib – or the model that does what it needs to do and has a big basket underneath without the fancy price tag. GO WITH THE BIG BASKET STROLLER. Go with the lightest stroller you can find. Go with the one that folds umbrella style so that you can actually fit it and other things in your trunk. In fact, don’t buy a stroller without discussing this with me first!

Month Seven

1. Your belly will look a little less cute a whole lot more, WTF?  Even the maternity clothes won’t be so cute anymore and if you are among the lucky ladies who have no choice but to ‘let ’em rip‘ the smell won’t embarrass you anymore. You’ll just shrug and tell people to walk away if they don’t like it.

2. You’ll be happy the day of delivery is coming and probably fend of the occasional panic attack if you’re prone to them. Your husband will start to stress as he realizes that a) he’s now officially a family man in the making, b) he’ll have another mouth to feed, c) you’re going to continue to be a bitch for another two months and then lead him through the tango of post-postpartum depression.

Month Eight

1. You’ll pee your pants each time you cough, sneeze and sometimes – just for the fun of it – simply for shifting position.

2. You’ll find that the baby effectively kicks you out of your own body and takes over. You will be able to identify personally with every alien movie wherein an alien bursts from the midsection of a human.  Those little “Awwwww”‘s you used to let out in month 5 and 6 whenever the baby moved or kicked will turn into “cut it out!” as you force a little foot, elbow or knee back “inside”.

3. Your husband or partner will become a good for nothing piece of sh-t (except my husband, who still rocks*) who did this to you and deserves all your rage…so you won’t feel badly for yelling, complaining, or being generally short tempered. Come to think of it, anyone who does anything that is not precisely as you would like it to be will be entirely at fault for said egregious action. Poor, poor you, dealing with these stupid people.

* A word about my husband. I’ve had the flu for over two weeks and before that experienced the torture of a dislocated and rotated pelvis which had me bed ridden for three weeks. This means that for essentially the last 5 weeks my husband, Al, has had to take over a TON of stuff with the girls, the house, work, the dog, feeding us and getting everyone where they need to be when they need to be there. So while I am within my god-given right to be awful given that I am 8 months pregnant with the flu, a sinus infection, and a still painful pelvis…I have to give it to him. He’s been a champ and I love him. But don’t tell him because he may use this against me somehow at sometime in our marriage.

Month Nine

[I probably ought to disclaim that I hate this month, so the tone may be more aggressive here. When you’ve hit this month you’ll know why]

1. By now you may have hemorrhoids (that’s when a piece of your lower intestine or bowl – feel free to correct me) hangs out of your ass.

2. You won’t see your vijayjay which means you can’t groom for the big day so someone will have to do it for you. This is more important than you think.  On the day you deliver, everyone will have stared at your lady parts before the delivery is through – the nurses, residents, students, your doctor or whatever doctor was on call and hell even the janitor if they happened to come in to remove the trash from your room.  Your only saving grace will be to look like you’ve got at least something put together as your face contorts in pain and you cuss everyone around you. So go get groomed. Besides, if you tear you’ll want as clean an area down there as possible AND when you bleed for weeks afterward, the clean up is muuuuuuch nicer if you don’t have curdled blood in your public hair.

On that note, I leave you to find a lovely lady who’ll do a Brazilian and have a great sense of humour while doing it.


Blow it out

Sucking and blowing and all that jazz.  Sounds fun, right?

More than fun, it’s imperative. Life affirming behaviour that you will be grateful to do when you’re congested.  Of course the sucking and blowing I’m referring to involves saline solution, a squeeze bottle…uh…wait. Perhaps I need to be clearer here.

Blowing your nose and sucking up saline water – again all about the nose –  in order to clear your sinuses is what I’m talking about.

Because as if the sinus infection/flu wasn’t bad enough, if you’ve had a kid or more, you get the added bonus of most likely wetting your pants anytime you cough or sneeze.   If you are 8 months pregnant with a flu/sinus infection and you sneeze, cough or basically shift position you will as a matter of course wet your pants – don’t talk to me about kegels – and know that you’re the reason I am sharing my pearls of wisdom.

There are few things you can take that are safe during pregnancy. Everything here you can do/use, pay particular attention to point #6.

So here is how you can alleviate your painful flu/sinus symptoms and get better sooner:

[Do note that I am not a doctor or health care practitioner of any kind that any advice/suggestions/tips you read here are not intended to replace the care you are given by the doctor of your choosing. I’m just a mom following the advice of a plethora of other moms who’s evidence of success is purely anecdotal].

Okay, with that out of the way, are you ready?

1. When you START to feel like you are coming down with something, whip out your neti pot or nasal bottle irrigation system as I like to call it and start doing multiple “rinses” throughout the day. I don’t care where you are – at the office, in the car, do it! You will hate you for not doing it if you get sicker. Don’t know what a neti pot is?

This is a neti pot. The one above is the model I have. You can find any number of different styles and you can buy them at any pharmacy.  The idea is that the warm water is poured into one nostril and (eventually) drips out the other nostril. Want to see it in action?

Or, how about neti-ing as a group? Because you know, why would you want to drip snot out of your face in private?

2. If you irrigated yourself as per step one and still got sick, bummer.  Double or triple (as per my naturopath whom I adore and am still heart broken over her move to Chicago) your Vitamin C intake. No more than 3000 mg per day until your stool (that’s poop) is soft.

When it softens it indicates that you’ve had enough and cut it back down to 1000 mg daily until you’re better. Other supplements that boost your immune system are: zinc. And, Heel, a naturopathic medicine company makes three cold/flu/sinus remedies that’ll knock your socks off. You can learn more about them here, most health food or natural health centers worth their while carry the line. This was my arsenal for attacking this bout of flu/sinus grossness:

This is for flu/cold symptoms.                 This is for sinus/rhinitis etc.

3. Steam your face over a pot of hot water – do not burn yourself, that would just suck even more – to loosen the mucous stuck in your face. Blow your nose and wash your hands. In fact wash your hands or at least sanitize them every time you touch your face.

4. DO NOT consume Dairy. It aggravates your mucous membrane making it worse. No: milk, cream, yogurt, ice cream, cheese of any kind.

5. Take a lemon. Squeeze the juice into a glass and gargle with some of it. The rest of it, swallow (again, only swallow if you have not gargled with it, want to be clear here). If it’s too much for you to tolerate, add some warm water and honey to sweeten.

6. Moan and complain until friends and family bring you soup, pick up your kids and do laundry. If your husband is worth his salt, he’ll fill in the gaps and give you a much needed reprise so that you can recuperate. My husband is not available for sharing. He’s mine, allllll mine.  Ask someone else.

Feel well,


Household Tips & Tricks

I stumbled onto a post with tips and given that lately I’m all about the tips – those nuggets of wisdom intended to ease my life, I wanted to post it because I picked up some new ideas that liked it a lot.

So here it is, a list of tips compiled and unattributable as it seems the author is unknown. I’ve kept the tips I liked most, I’ll credit Ana with the list since she posted it and you can find her complete list of found tips in her post.

Know of others? Add them to the comments.

  1. Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom  of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drip.
  2. To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
  3. To prevent egg shells form cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard-boiling.
  4. To determine whether an egg is fresh, immerse in a pan of cool, salted water. If it sinks, it’s fresh, but if it floats, throw it away.
  5. When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to help bring out the corn’s natural sweetness.
  6. Run your hands under cold water before pressing Rice Krispies treats in the pan and the marshmallow won’t stick to your fingers.
  7. To easily remove burnt on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stove-top.
  8. When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won’t be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
  9. If you accidently over-salt a dish while it’s still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant “fix.”
  10. Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in a refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
  11. Place a slice of apple in hardened brown sugar to soften it.
  12. Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
  13. If you a problem opening jars: Try using latex dishwashing gloves. They have a great non-slip grip!
  14. Potatoes will take food stains off your fingers. Just slice and rub raw potato on the stains and rinse with water.
  15. To get rid of itch from mosquito bites, try applying soap on the area and you will experience instant relief.
  16. Ants are said never to cross a chalk line. So, get your chalk out and draw a line on the floor or wherever ants tend to march.
  17. Use air-freshener to clean mirrors. It does a good job and better still, leaves a lovely smell to the shine.
  18. When you get a splinter, reach for the scotch tape before resorting to tweezers or a needle. Place tape over splinter, then pull it off. Scotch tape removes most splinters painlessly and easily.
  19. Don’t throw out all the leftover wine: Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
  20. Alka Seltzer tips: –Clean a toilet. Drop in 2 tablets, wait 20 minutes, brush and flush. –Clean a vase. Fill with water and drop in 2 tablets. –Polish jewelry. Drop 2 tablets into a glass of water and immerse the jewelry for 2 minutes. –Clean a thermos bottle. Fill the bottle with water, drop in 4 tablets, and let soak for an hour. –Unclog a drain. Clear the sink drain by dropping 3 tablets down the drain followed by a cup of Heinz White Vinegar. Wait a few minutes, then run the hot water.

Girl vs. Boys

If you thought it wouldn’t be until she hit adolescence that you’d hear “I hate you!” you’ve never had a 4 yr old daughter.

So let me be your guide. I am rapidly becoming somewhat of a know-it-all on raising….well, at least having…girls. During a visit this morning with our close friend J and her kids, Noosh earned back-to-back time-outs for being rude and then remarkably ruder.

As I set the timer for the time-out it’s fairly certain that everyone on the block heard N yell out a smattering of phrases that signaled her anger over being placed in time out. She sat there, but she was disturbingly loud, rude, and let’s be honest, annoying.

Listening from the family room, J and I stifled our silent laughter and quietly started calling out random things our daughters have said in frustration. It sounded like this:

“You’re not my mommy anymore!”

“I’m going to live at another house with nicer parents!”

“I don’t love you anymore!”

“I am not looking at you anymore…this is me not looking at you”

Both our daughters are 4 yrs old. They growl, throw just about anything within reach, and scrunch up their faces in very primal ways to show their disdain. They are four, and somehwere somehow they learned to say “I hate you”. I swear to god it did not come from us.

J has three boys along with her daughter and I have Sugus who’s 2 1/2, and what we both remarked on is the amount of drama associated with having a girl compared to the more physical exertion of having a boy. Our consensus? The girls are hands down require more emotional energy to navigate.

Having only daughters and expecting another I only know of the hair, clothes, and attitudinal drama associated with raising girlies and very little about the energy output of boys.

So now I’m curious, just how much more “energy” does it take to raise one gender versus the other?

How does the emotional drain of the verbal/psychological fatigue compare with physical fatigue? I heard that it takes more energy to be pregnant with a boy than a girl….I learned that from Grey’s Anatomy so don’t go quoting me or anything dumb like that. But what about when they are born?

Do girls cry more? Yell more? Scream more? And why am I under the impression that while boys may be louder and wilder, girls are more…dare I say it? Demanding.

I’m going to find people to weigh in on this and get back to you.

In the meantime, if you can shed light on this, please do – I’d like to hear from you. Whether you’re professionally in the know or have the real-life kind of training of raising both son’s and daughters, or are an innocent bystander with an opinion, lets hear from you.


#1 Resource for Moms

I just wrote a lunatic sounding email of praise to Tanya T of for all the work that she does.

Seriously? Go make your life easier at The link will open up the site in a new window, finish this post and then click over and see for yourself that I know what I’m talking about.

Whether the motivation came from the sheer relief that her site afforded me, or the fact that I have been belaboring heading out the door to do this weeks groceries I have no idea, and really who cares?  I am so in love with her for making my task today so much easier that sharing it with you was a must.

Want to know what’s in the circulars to save you money? She’s got them posted. Want to know what’s on super sale at Costco? She’s got an ever current “Costco Watch” that I used to buy an office chair for $67.00 and a fabulous walking stroller for $34.00.

This week, her menu – week 1 – brought on such a rush of relief that I just about gave birth.  Right there, at my fingertips I found the solution to (a) what I need to buy at the market, and (b) what to serve for dinner each night for the rest of the week! The fact that I’m saving money by not standing in front of my open fridge wondering what to invent is a bonus.

MontrealMom covers everything: developmental stages, managing time, a directory of services and businesses, a calendar of activities, menus, party planning, recreation, it goes on and on. And each section has a subsection that is a treasure trove of useful information and links.

This time it was all about solving my what to get and what to make at the supermarket problem, so I want to go on about that.

Each week’s plan has not only the suggested meal item but also a link to the ingredients needed and the recipe. Healthful, delicious meals (not the stuff you just throw in the oven and hope for the best), variety, vegetarian options, whole foods, and flavours that will inspire your family’s tastebuds.

What I love and what I hate come straight from experience and I think that’s  in part why I am ever more awed and appreciative of what does. It’s all you’ve ever wanted to know about motherhood…especially on those occasion when you think you don’t know what you’re doing, she’ll make it look like you do.

Straight from an empty stomach,


Plug me in. I’m a connected parent.

I am really excited about 2011 and I’m fairly certain a lot of it has to do with the fact that I haven’t made any resolutions.

As I think about it, I find that I do certain things differently that I never resolved to; and definitely didn’t share them as conventional wisdom stipulates we ought to in order to see those resolutions, well… resolved.

Take for instance that I ended 2010 with a three-week stream of yelling at my three year old to hurry up, to slow down, to eat more, to put back the cookies, to get into the car already, to get out of the car for once, to put on her clothes, to get into bed, to stop biting her sister, the table, the doll’s head…you get the picture. Compare that to my starting 2011 listening to an audio interview with Pam Leo about connected parenting for 1 hour and only today experienced a minor flare-up of what will go down in my parenting history as three of the worst-job’s I’ve ever done.

I’m no expert. Don’t quote me, don’t learn from me, don’t do anything except shake your head at me in either agreement or judgment…but her words alighted an insight that I always knew. Knowledge that lived in my heart and connected with me.

Here is what I understand: Connected Parenting is about the creating and maintaining a relationship that helps our children feel connected to us,  feel safe, loved, and listened to. It is a mode of parenting that functions from a point of respect for our children over the mode of authority. Which is not to say that we do not have authority over our wee ones, just that how we convey what we need them to learn and understand and do is done so with respect to who they are as people just as we would interact with other people.

In the interview, Pam talks about how the power of coercion, as in “You better be here before I finishing counting to 3 or else!” decreases as children get older. Older, in my experience ought to be defined as: as soon as they are 4.

Instead, she inspires parents to parent through connection. And not in the ‘come here now or you’ll connect with my fist/mean spirit-breaking words/harsh face’ parenting style that I hope most children are not raised by, but in that way that demonstrates that you want your child around – with all their tantrums, quirks, and tiresome antics.

I’d like that. I’d like that for my girls. I’d like that for myself.

Happy 2011, may it be a ridiculously prosperous, healthy, and connected one.