Where are all the Autistic’s at?

A look at meetup and you’ll find thousands of groups for all kinds of interests and needs – some with 2 members, others with, again, thousands.

Screen Shot 2014-04-14 at 2.31.13 PMLook up “Autism” and you’ll see seven. Seven groups each one oriented to Aspies, to families, and those you just can’t figure out.

How is it that one of the largest cities in Canada on one of the largest social event platforms has seven groups which altogether boast less than 1000 members?

A search that adds 15 miles to my search criteria brings up only 2 more groups.


Where are mom’s like me and dad’s like Al going to connect? Where are they going to get a clue about how to navigate Autism-land in Toronto?

Seven years ago meetup introduced me to some of my closest friends. I was a new mom, in a new city.  Now, once again I am a relatively new special needs mom in a new city. Are we looking at Wee Wiggles II? Are we looking at RedBootWarrior the meetup? Is this supposed to be where I start the journey of what RBW will become?


A friend recently said the PTSD (Post Tramatic Stress Disorder) that is moving will fade out in a month….or three….fuck.  She mentioned this on the heels of my confession that I wake up longing for bedtime. Three months until I have a dash of energy and an inkling of a damn? I can’t rush bed-time for that long.

At The Village where Téa does ABA for three hours everyday I tell them, “Push her. She is playing you. She knows she is cute and she is owning your ass”.  I have only praise for this centre that will never live up to Abili-T for me (for the single simple reason that no place can or likely ever will).

Abili-T was Téa’s place but it was also mine. The team was my team as much as they were Téa’s and with all the care that I’ve taken to ensure a smooth transition for Tutu, I seem to have forgotten that I needed a smooth transition too.

Smooth is the opposite of what I got. From Montreal departure to Toronto arrive took 6 weeks.

I drove the 6 hour trip with the girls on Aug 16th after flitting from house to house on the generous spirits of close friends.

The moving van with most of our belongings arrived Sept 25th at 8 pm. Al arrived Sept 28th at 6pm with the second 16 FT truck that he drove himself.

Now, amidst enough furniture to outfit three houses and dozens upon dozens of boxes that I don’t even want to open we are somehow expecting to feel like we are home…finally. The girls correct us when we say “we’re going home”. Naya says, “No, we’re going house”.  Sienna’s eyes widen and she asks, “to Montreal?!!”

To the adage, “fake it till you make it”, I reply that I don’t even remember what to do to fake it. I miss knowing that friends are nearby – even if busy in their own lives. I miss sending out a line in an email or text and having friends I could see. Just. Like. That.

I know it will come. I am just not believing it yet.

If you are moving or recently moved, know that it’ll suck for little while and then it will get better…after all, as my mom says, “there is no evil that will last 100 years, and no soul that can tolerate it”.



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