I’ve been experiencing a reawakening.
The sort that causes you to pause and notice yourself and your life a little bit. The kind that results in rediscovering past passions, interests, skills.
I can’t say with definitiveness what ignited this awareness but I do think that Dan Millman’s The Sacred Journey has a lot to do with it. I had this feeling before, a few years ago, when I read The Peaceful Warrior.
All of a sudden I’m remembering that I like colour. That I am great at crafts. That I have a philosopher’s mind and lover’s ache for life.
I am settling into my self. Coming together by letting myself come apart and simply be. Not an easy feat for me. I’ve usually succumbed to the demon that demanded I be appropriate, polite, perfect.
I am ripe with our third child and haven’t figured it all out. Nursery done? Nope. Names picked out? Nope. Work tasks organized so that someone can take them over? Nu-uh. Person hired to take said work tasks over? [shake of the head in the negative].
See? I am letting things come undone. How much do you wanna bet my husband is loving this?
But see here’s the thing, I’ve discovered in subtle ways throughout my life that everything sorts itself out. There is beauty and wisdom in allowing the universe participate in how things unfold. Now, you’ll find that perhaps you don’t see yourself as a superstar who manages and oversees and excels at everything, but then, how well was that working for you anyway?