Yes, that was a cookie she had for dinner.

Let’s get real. The new mom novelty wears off fast and by the time you’ve had your second kid, if dinner consists of a chocolate covered graham cracker eaten in the stroller while I try to focus on reading the same line 5 times standing at the self help aisle at Chapters, it’s only going to bother me tinge.

And I can deal with a tinge.

In fact it was the not caring all that much that Sienna didn’t want to eat the wild salmon with homemade marinade and sweet potato mash (its the preservation of a self-image I’m after by telling you this),  that registers for me.

That line I was trying to read? It was a sentence on how to get organized in James Allen’s,  As A Man Thinketh. It’s over a century old and as relevant to my life as my kid’s poop-cycles. Therefore, as you can imagine, really very relevant. I happened to get stuck on a page where he talked about systems and how the lack of systems creates a waste of energy and creativity needed to achieve our desired goals.

The cookie was used as a stop-gap so that I could get to the punch line and find the key to system creation. We’ve been swamped with inquiries for kidscentive – which is, of course, marvelous. The challenge has been to satisfy requests for information, test the site, send out member cards, sign up new merchants, finalize strategic partnerships, oversee all the admin, process payments, design ads, consult and collaborate with clients , etc, etc, etc. And create all the systems to support it. Exceptionally, no less.

Instead, I took note of the book’s title and stashed it in my pocket until earlier this evening – er, yesterday, it’s nearly 4 am and I have not made it to bed yet – when I ordered it online. Then I picked up Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff and It’s All Small Stuff….Go ahead. Take a guess at how far I got. How far did you get today trying to pee without someone calling you, crying, or trying to come in? Point made.

The cookie bought me all of 30 seconds. If Sienna were a care-bear, this sweet endearing child would be Eats-a-lot.

This was the first time in a looooong time that I went somewhere that I wanted to go, nearly alone to simply be. When Sienna was quiet I could almost pretend to be perusing the books and all of the ones I gravitated towards this evening were about relieving stress. I think however that I was too stressed to give the book the necessary evaluation time. If I didn’t start feeling better 5 words in, I put it back.

Don’t we know all there is to know about coping with stress anyway?

Drink water. Breathe deeply.Don’t fret. It’s a temporarily trying moment, not forever. Take vitamins. Sleep more. Do Downward dog. Do SunPose. Do the missionary position. Eat dark chocolate, oh, wait – that’s for something else.

What I was after is a reprise from all the demanding albeit wonderful things that are occurring because the reality is that even though we want to seem as though we’re always in control, on top of it – that the clothes is put away, the dishes are clean and dinner is a full spread of nutritious yumminess, we’re corporate mavens and sexual havens – life’s often just about a cookie eaten in a stroller while mommy seeks to regain a measure of calm and oneness in day old clothes and a dirty pony-tail.

A.

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