Missing that oh so pregnant feeling?

Have you been cooing and awing at every baby you see and think back to the glow you had during your pregnancy? Are you wondering if it’s time to have another bundle of joy, drool, and spit up in your life? Eat three family-sized bags of Orville-Redenbocker butter popcorn in two hrs. Yes, 2.

It is remarkable how accurately this simulates a woman’s 5th month of pregnancy. You’ll break into a sweat and as your stomach churns to handling this mass of condensed saturated fat, it’ll feel as though a little elbow or foot was kicking you in the ribs.

I was sitting with some friends after shoving handful after handful into my mouth and actually had to stop and ask myself in that nano second that it takes to think anything – could I possibly be 5 months pregnant and not have known it???

In all fairness, it is possible. After all, Sienna is 7 1/2 months old and I haven’t had my period so I wouldn’t know it if I was. We’ve gone through so many stomach flues, colds, flues and just feeling wiped out this winter that a pregnancy could have gone completely unperceived.

I’ve been shoveling food – correction: crappy food – like a goose being fattened for Fois Gras.

Why? I dunno.

I always eat when I am stressed about a lot of things coming up at once. I become very preoccupied by the fear that I will forget something and so I eat. I’ve yet to understand the connection with stuffing my face and being more organized….but as I plan my week whilst typing with one hand (the other is the popcorn bowl) I find that I feel better.

Yeah, yeah.

A.

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