That smell…it’s me, right?

I went to get highlights and came out looking like a beige and brown skunk. So I went back to get it fixed and now have fairly fair nondescript hair, which just might be worse.

My hair and my face are almost the same shade, so I needed to apply self tanner so that I would look “fresher” and not quite so monochromatic.

Ugh, I smell.

I’d forgotten how strongly this stuff smells, and when I picked Sienna up from her crib – this baby tries to suck my nose with fervor when I pick her up – she stared a me and moved her face away I realized just how bad it is.

But I’m not washing it off. We’re seeing one of my sister-in-law’s for dinner tonight and I know they will have naturally radiantly tanned skin because they travel all around, so I have to keep it on so that the contrast between us and them isn’t so huge.

So here I sit, with a slightly Orange-iridescent glow, completely ignored by my children who refuse my kisses; stinking up the room and waiting for the four hours of developing time to end.

There are fabulous advances in science and nutrition, humanity has accomplished tremendous feats…and I’m not suggesting that the smell of self-tanner is nearly as important, but….most of us are affected by it either directly or via second-hand stench.

Also (and this should strengthen my argument in terms of some think-tank time being allocated to this matter) I’m fairly certain that the rate of skin cancer would drop if the smell was an appealing vanilla, or light airy floral (an athletic scent for the guys) as many of us would opt to use the tanner in-Lew of priming ourselves for cancer.

Faintly,

A.

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One Comment Add yours

  1. This post is so funny and so wrong on so many levels. I love it!!!

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